Love with no regrets
by littlepiecesofme
Summary: "So I'll kiss you longer, baby, any chance that I get. I'll make the most of the minutes and love with no regrets."


_Okay, I'm not even sure how I feel about this story, but I'm sharing anyway. I was listening to music the other day, and one song just made me stop and picture this. And then I had a lot of feels._

 _Thanks for reading. :)_

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"Momma, Momma! Guess what!"

Grinning at Sofia's infectious excitement as she bounds up the steps onto the porch, I crouch to welcome her with a hug, and laugh when she practically leaps into my arms after a week spent with her other mom.

"What?!"

"I'm gonna be a flower girl!"

She hugs me tight, pulling back and dropping her SuperGirl backpack, a big grin lighting up her face.

"A flower girl! Really? In someone's wedding?"

I stand and smooth my hand over her hair, looking toward the street and giving a little wave to Callie as she watches from the car. It strikes me as strange that she didn't come to the door with Sofia to drop her off - she usually does - but maybe she's rushing in to work or something.

"Yeah! Mommy and Penny is having a wedding!"

I freeze, looking up again at my ex-wife sitting in the car. She meets my eyes for the briefest moment, giving me a little smile, and then her car is pulling away from the curb and before I can even let out the breath I'm holding she's out of sight.

Callie is getting married.

Callie is getting married to someone who...isn't me.

And I know - I _know_ it's been almost three years - and I shouldn't have been holding out hope that there was anything left between us. I should have moved on by now. I shouldn't still love her; she's not mine to love.

But...it's _Callie._

Sofia pushes past me into the house, chatting away excitedly about the last few days I haven't seen her, and I blink slowly, picking up her bag and turning to follow. I reach into the mailbox beside the door on autopilot, pulling out some flyers, and look down to see a silvery embossed envelope in my hand with an intricate design flowing along the heavy card stock, a heart etched with the initials 'C&P' settling in the bottom corner.

' _You're invited.'_

"I can't..."

Sofia calls for me somewhere inside the house, but I'm frozen, staring at the envelope in front of me. My entire world is crashing down around me...again.

"Callie, no...no...please..."

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* * *

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I wake with a start, bolting upright in bed, the sheets clenched almost painfully in my fists and a hoarse sob ripping from my throat as I catch my breath.

"Arizona...?"

A soft, muffled voice sounds beside me in the dark, and I feel a warm hand slide over my arm as I try to calm my racing heart. I can't breathe. I can't lose her - not again.

"Hey..."

The bed shifts slightly and I look down to meet concerned brown eyes - the outline of Callie's face becoming visible in the faint light that streams through the curtains over our window. She sits up beside me, her hand soothingly running along my forearm, and reaches over to brush some hair off my face. An initial feeling of confusion washes over me, but it's quickly replaced by relief as I just stare at the other woman.

"Nightmare?" she curls her fingers gently around my cheek, "you haven't dreamt about the plane in a long time..."

I just watch her, finally regaining control of my breathing; of my heartbeat. It feels like I've been hit by a truck.

"Arizona..." she wipes her thumb under my left eye, her brow furrowing in concern again,"you're crying...sweetie, it's okay. You're safe."

"No, it wasn't..."

All I can do is shake my head, another half sob bubbling up as I turn and wrap my arms around her neck, clinging to her. Strong arms immediately envelope my body as she pulls me close, but I can't keep the tears at bay. Dream and reality are still somewhat mingled, swirling through my head, and I'm almost not sure if I can believe the other woman is here beside me.

"Don't leave me, Callie. Don't...don't leave me."

"What? Hey, it's okay. I'm right here."

Callie's loving voice murmurs near my ear as I press my face into the curve of her neck, her hand coming up to stroke my hair. Her touch is soothing, and comfortable, and although I'm still clinging desperately to her, I can feel a little bit of the startling tension I woke up with leaving my body.

"I'm right here, honey. I promise I'm not going anywhere."

Pulling back, I grasp the hand that was protectively curled around the back of my head, my fingers grazing over the familiar coolness of a metal band around her finger, and the hard edge of a stone nestled beside it. I swallow hard, bringing her hand into the faint light until I see the white gold for myself - her wedding ring, and the diamond engagement ring that fits beside it, giving off a soft glow in the moonlight.

She has her rings on.

I look down at my own left hand just to make sure an identical band is still there - and I see it, I feel it, securely fitting beside the brilliant sapphire she'd given me. The symbols of our commitment to each other resting exactly where they should be.

"Oh, my god."

I let out a heavy breath, letting my head fall into my hands, and blink back against the lingering wetness in my eyes. It was all a dream.

It was so real.

"Arizona..."

Callie's hands slip into mine, pulling them away from my face, and my name falls from her lips in a whisper.

"I dreamt that I lost you," I swallow hard again, meeting her eyes - eyes that are filled with nothing but concern and absolute love, "that you were...we were...we weren't together. You left me, walked out of our therapy...and we weren't together and I..I..."

"Shh, shh...I'm here. It's alright."

Her whisper reaches my ears again as she pulls me close, tipping us back onto the bed until I'm curling my body around hers, my forehead resting against her as I let my eyes flutter shut for a moment.

"You were..." I let out a breath, tightening my arm where it's wrapped around her waist, "you and Penny...and you were going to marry her...you loved her, and I had lost you."

"Who's Penny?—wait, that annoying resident who worked with us yesterday?"

Letting out a pained groan, I just bury my face against her skin again, my hand seeking hers out to tangle our fingers together, to ground myself in reality.

"I love _you._ I'm not going anywhere," she tilts my head up, pressing her lips to mine for a moment before her voice softens, "We put all that behind us a year ago – it's always been you, Arizona. I could never leave you."

My fingers tangle around hers, my thumb running lightly across her wedding band again – the memory of renewing our vows, _legally_ , six months ago pushing to the forefront of my mind. The memory of our thirty day separation, our months in therapy fighting for our marriage, our heartfelt revelations a year ago that brought us closer together than we've ever been.

Callie is here. And Callie is my wife. She's _mine._

That dream was more terrifying than any car crash, or plane crash, or any of the other demons that have haunted me.

"I love you."

Shifting up to lean over her, I bring a hand up to slide along the soft skin of her jaw, to hold her gently, anchoring her to me.

"I love you so much, Calliope."

My words escape in a whisper moments before I capture her lips under mine, desperate to feel the connection between us. She groans softly when I tug her bottom lip between my own, and when my tongue slips over hers to deepen the kiss, to fill my senses with the taste and the feel of her. I push myself up further, lips never leaving hers, and straddle her hips as my hands slide up under her tank top, my fingers just brushing along the underside of her warm, soft breasts. I trail my finger along the skin almost reverently before letting my hand slide down along her rib cage again, nuzzling her jaw as I press kisses along her cheek, and her neck, and up around the tender skin below her ear.

I just need to feel her, need to _surround_ myself with her.

I slide down over her legs, pushing sheets out of the way, and leaning over I push the thin material of her top up and kiss her stomach lightly. My tongue glides across her skin, tracing delicate patterns that make her shiver deliciously under me, and I feel her hand curl around the back of my head, fingers tangling in my hair. Glancing up at beautiful, dark eyes, I dip my tongue into her belly button and swirl it around slowly, smiling at the soft breathless gasp that leaves her lips. Every sound she makes sends a renewed sense of longing and desire through my body. I ache for her – here, now, all the time. My body was made to feel hers; my heart made to love her. I don't need much, but I need _her_.

I make my way slowly back up her body, kissing, teasing my tongue over her ribs. When I reach her breasts, finally pulling the tank top up and over her head, I lick along the underside of one, leaving a wet trail across the impossibly soft skin there. A lingering kiss just over her heartbeat.

"Arizona..."

The way my name tumbles from her lips is the most beautiful sound in the world.

She pulls at me gently, urging me up over her again, and I rest one hand on the bed beside her while she tangles her fingers with my other one. She kisses me then, soft and slow and with a barely contained fire that is constantly burning between us, constantly just under the surface of every touch. A fire that will never extinguish – that has burned brightly for nearly eight years now, even through rain storms and hurricanes and blizzards – and that I can't imagine ever living without.

A fire that grows stronger with every kiss, every sigh, every murmured word between us.

A fire that I'll never take for granted.

Her eyes meet mine in the darkness and she holds my gaze, her thumb stroking reverently along my cheek. The dream flickers through my mind again, my heart clenching almost painfully at the picture it painted of my life without her. Without this. But she kisses me softly, wrapping her arms around me again until our bodies are seamlessly curled together, and I know that she can chase away even the worst of nightmares.

"We'll never lose each other."

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 _"Like I'm Gonna Lose You" - Meghan Trainor_

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End file.
